Ben Joneses' Alt-Right Adventure!
by Darfur Maxx
Summary: 'Dis whitey got a baaaddd case of cat scratch fever, and he wants it baaaadddddd! Will he get 'da poon? Or will he git his azz beat by pozzed nullo eunuchs and chomos? Either way, Elwood's neva' gon' be 'da same no mo' . . .


I'm down with the sickness, baby. Send me $30 and see what happens ;)

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Ben Joneses motherfucker, come to burn hell. He's the burny hell man from _The Simpsons_ that wants to _R-Type_ you because you are sex object to brian damaged Brian Griffin clones. He heffa and peffa until the emus of the Alt-Right take notice of his _luxurious ballsack_ _._ Yes, he has decided to ascend the awful popamole pozzed wigger collective attitude and straddle the Neo-Kony reign of law that he had always dreamed of. Now he will disassemble the inferior scrotums and wombs of the heinous white hating terrorist settlement, known as Elwood City. Disgusting fur babies infest the streets, with pozzed songs of good parks and bathhouses. He sits behind an unsettling fish woman (dressed as a Jewish version of beloved YouTuber Miss Hannah Minx,) lying in wait to enact his wildest, morally justified plans upon the mid-class Pennsylvanian wiggers of poz.

"It is good that this park is good, and not bad as in homosexual," said some brainwashed, child molesting furry jezebel, who just so happened to be named Jane Read. "By the way, I have a pair of EE cup female breasts, anus, clitoris, and tight and deep vagina that my son Arthur and his friend Buster wash with their nice and smooth fronts every night of course."

"That is good," said an obese Gaian American man who looks like an older Barret from _Final Fantasy VII_ , "I love washing Marlene's girl parts while Marlene washes my new daughter Molly's boy and girl parts every night while smiling in fact."

"It is indeed," said a human male that is thirty–four years old and is a Good Baptist, "you will now remove Molly's girl parts now and have her sent to a maximum security Federal prison for adult males convicted of sex crimes for sixty years without parole of course, since she is gay in matter of fact."

"That I will," said the Mr. T wannabe as he dragged Molly away towards his van, who was kicking and screaming, "time to remove them bad genitals and call the police in fact."

"I am glad," said Jane, "I am happy for Molly here in fact, since she just might touch my genitals of course, seeing that she is homosexual in matter of fact."

Ben Joneses normally couldn't care less for the plight of underaged furries, but the man was as easy—and _absolutely sleazy_ —as they come. He strode up to the commotion with spiteful hormones inside his _luxurious_ , yet cruelly cuckolded balls. Yes, he has lost his lover to another, and he fookin' hates that _shite_. He was waifu-ed to this Aussie-Brit emo girl who was his first, and so far only lay; she one day took all his swag and told him to "up the fuck off, and stop streaming ya' dick jackin' to my cheeky pics in 'da innanet, ya' fuckin' cunt!" He liked her booty so it really sucked and he hated it and no, emo pr0n wasn't good enough for his yanky doodle. He wasn't a furry, either, so bathing within the healing light of Alfred Alfer's fluorescent, Alt-Right animated doggy cock wasn't happening. But then he saw Molly's butt and thought it was kinda hot (even though girls _poop_ from there . . .)

"Ay, gon' get a piece o' da ass! Piece-a me sum Ju-day _Hopps_ if-ya-know-what-I-mean; eeeeeeHHEEHEEEHH!"

The fish woman felt the disturbing aura of a male sex demon bent on groping, and started to shit herself. She was wearing a diaper and had two vaginal canals with hymens that can open and close at will, so it was okay and not at all embarrassing.  
"I feel bad, that white Alt-Hitler man is bad. That man that was behind me that is."

"That is bad," said some sad, creepy human boy in his twenties with a shut-in baby boy voice, "he just might cut a child's penis to die. Let's hope that bad guy is stopped, before being arrested for murdered, and taken to jail for wanting the earth to be global warming."

"Bitch, suck my dick an' _shut up!_ " Ben Joneses said as he flipped the offended fish woman off as he meandered closer towards the van down by the park river, where Molly will receive genital mutilating surgery and be arrested afterwards, for no actual reason. None that would make sense in a world with any sort of shred of dignity and sanity, anyway.

He went on his way, until he passed by a girl sitting beside what looked like a broken bicycle. She was sobbing quietly to herself. Her black hair concealed most of her face, her head curled into her knees, with her hands under her legs.

Ben Joneses felt a little concerned all of a sudden. The other bitch could wait, this one sounds kinda cute. "Hey, the fuck you cryin' about, girl?"

"Wh- what?"

Her head raised up to see him, revealing her face. Even though she was crying, he couldn't help but find her absolutely beautiful. Her light brown eyes seemed to look golden in the sunlight. Her facial features were, for lack of a better word, adorable, and also distinctly Asian. He didn't see it at first glance, but she also had a long hair curl that looked a little like a hook; it only made her look even prettier. Same with the blue summer dress she was wearing. The spaghetti straps left much of her shoulders bare, which he blatantly stared at, as his gaze gradually went lower and lower, until-

"Umm, why are you looking at me like that?"

"Holy fucking shit . . ."

Tits.

She's got big tits.

Big fucking tits.

 ** _Yuge._**

The angle that he had on her was perfect. Those had to have been E's, at the very least.

These were the best boobs that Ben Joneses had ever seen.

"Please stop looking at me." The girl said, shielding herself from the _luxurious_ fuckboy's unrelenting gaze. "I don't want to talk to you. Please leave me alone."

Ben Joneses found this _particularly_ annoying. Who in the right mind would ever hide such amazing mammaries, he thought. His favourite emo pornstars certainly don't! And if they didn't, then what right did she have to hide hers? With absolutely no actual thought put into it, he let out a long, whining moan, in protest.

"But your boobs are _amazing_ . . ."

"I _really_ don't like this, please stop. I want you to go away . . ."

"Look, I'll hook you up wit' some weed baby, it's some real good shit, straight outta Cali; awesome fuckin' shit babe." He wasn't lying about it being from California, but it was only cheap reg that tasted like ass. And his ex stole all of it when they broke up. "I'll give you some, you just gotta uhhhhhhh lemme feel ya up first, an' titfuck the shit outta them god-tier **teetiez~!** "

Her eyes went wide, as if in shock. She gritted her teeth at him as she narrowed her eyes towards his. "Never! Stay the fuck away from me, you pervert!" She yelled at him, until Ben Joneses started backing off. "You men are all the same! All the fucking same! You're all fucking entitled and you're all the fucking same! Get the fuck away from me, shithead!"

Ben Joneses _especially_ found the perceived misandry aggravating. He flipped his lid at the the now undesirable cunt.

"Maybe you wouldn't perceive misogyny all over the fuckin' place if people like you hadn't fuckin' voted in a nigger lover back in 2008 who wants white children raped and lynched _en masse!_ CNN **lied** to you! Stormfront and /pol/ will set you free!"  
He flipped the girl off and then gestured a mic falling, before he swerved back towards his goal.

Ben Joneses was awfully proud at his utter _pwnage_ of that normie liberal dicksleeve. What a slut, seriously. Only sluts had boobs as big as that. Fucking virtue signaling cunt. The fact that she was Asian made him all the more smug about his privileged, red pilled lifestyle. At heart, he is a dirty white boy. Emphasis on the dirty, dirty riding ass black brand name jeans with the crotch cut out from the unwashed denim, and his Aryan gonads and strife, _luxurious_ as seen in the whitest parts of the internet, covered only by red underwear, and all too easy for him to defiantly expose in an open gesture of superiority against the vast, cruel universe itself. He had a sharp face with shortly trimmed facial hair that many people at a protest would want to throttle, and not just violently. His pectoral titties and abs were covered in a side-less, sleeveless black shirt with the neon green text " **SUNS** _OUT!_ **GUNS** _OUT!_ " on the front of it. The black designer tennis shoes and matching pair of ankle socks with the red streaks and lines decorating it was his last gift from his girlfriend he's received, as a memento of their ongoing, platonic friendship- haha just kidding, he stole them from his ex's new boyfriend last week. He kept his dark, dirty long hair under a red MAGA hat, which has a badge with the _Angry Beavers_ logo attached to it, advertising both his political and sexual affiliation, and 90's kid soul. That's what his ex told him about it; right before calling the cops on his ass, anyway.

Ben Joneses was almost at the van, ready to fuck the shit out of a crust punk furry 3rd grader, just because she gave him a stiffy that was usually reserved for white nationalists. If any dumbass pedophile or Good Baptist wanted to fuck with him, he brought his nuts, and not the kind that an old man would feed you in a grocery store, either. His _luxurious ballsack_ was all the kung-fu he needed for the road ahead!

But things just don't work that way. Not today.

 **CLICK-CLACK!**

Ben Joneses, mighty and sexually tyrannisauric in the name of Pepe as he was, has now reached the plateaued state of despair. He looked over his shoulder at the hissing he suddenly heard, feeling something hard behind his back; he saw that terrified, evilly slutty girl he had verbally wrecked earlier, with a contorted expression of outright hatred on her pretty face, about to blow his Alt-Right white ass away with a homemade shotgun. It was made out of a _bicycle_ , for gods sake!

Ben Joneses forgot to ask her to smile.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


End file.
